TL;DR in case you skim the rest: Thank you to the family and friends who have made the past month and a half so special! It felt like a full month of celebrating my birthday. My heart is overflowing with love. I am so grateful to have you in my life.

Celebration of Life

It’s always funny the little things you notice when you come back from traveling, like your initial reaction to throw the toilet paper in the trash instead of putting it in the toilet bowl or that your friends aren’t kissing you on the cheek when they say hello in the morning. But, the biggest thing that struck me upon returning home to the U.S. was the level of affluence. Psychology researchers have shown that we judge if we have “enough” by comparing ourselves to those around us. How can I reduce my consumerism while still feeling an abundance? For me, I’ve realized it’s about focusing on the abundance of friends, family, community, and love rather than physical possessions.

I went to the second Management as a Calling retreat this past month. We revisited the most profound (from my perspective) exercise of the first retreat: writing my own obituary. After getting over the tears of thinking about my own death, writing my obituary last September crystallized what is important and I felt a strong sense of urgency in my career and my life. The focus of my obituary was my family and friends. So, I want to share my reflections from the heartwarming stories from the past few months on what family means and what staying in touch looks like.

Mi Familia Quiteña | My Family in Quito

Studying abroad in Quito changed my life. I have thought so much about my year there as a junior in high school because it was pivotal in how I now approach life. I learned how to balance fun, growth, and learning. I showed myself what can happen when I embrace the adventure and the unknown. Ecuadorians taught me the importance of going with the flow (something that I’ll always be working on) and the importance of familia. I cherish my memories of long leisurely Sunday lunches that stretched late into the afternoon while we caught up with everyday happenings of the family.

During the 15 years since I lived in Ecuador, I have had amazing adventures but I felt ashamed that I hadn’t visited them in Ecuador or kept in better touch. As I descended into Quito, I was nervous. Would I recognize mis madres quiteñas? Would we have anything to talk about? Upon seeing Moni at the airport and hugging her for what felt like an eternity, I knew I was home. As Moni (mi madre quiteña) told me, “it’s never too late to return home.”

I asked Pilar, my grandmother, what family meant and her words spoke more perfectly than I could. Our families aren’t always just the people we share blood with. In addition to them, I have my chosen family (friends) and the family that the Rotarians gifted me. Mi abuela me dijo que “Siempre vas a tener una casa aquí; las llaves están en la puerta. Siempre vamos a ser tu familia. A través de los rotarios, recibiste una familia.” My grandmother Pilar told me “You will always have a home here; the keys are in the door. We will always be your family. Thanks to the Rotarians, you received a family!”

My quiteñan families are amazing, beautiful, loving and crazy in only the way that family can be! They made me feel like no time had passed. They took great care of me as I worked through healing a badly sprained ankle and ensured I got to eat all my favorite Ecuadorian food (hornado, ceviche, pan de yuca, etc.). While I was at the Contreras’ home, I had 5 people checking in on me on WhatsApp to make sure they knew where I was, that I was safe, and that we had the same understanding of the plans. In contrast to when I was in Ecuador in 2008 with a limited-plan brick phone, the Contreras’ constant chirping away on WhatsApp reminded me that social media has lowered the barriers to communication. By sharing more, we can check-in, support each other, weave into each others’ daily lives, and show unconditional love. I’ve even been staying in contact over the past few weeks as I write Google Doc comments on my Ecuadorian sister’s cover letters and resumes as she applies for jobs post-grad school! (Talk about useful skills I learned in B-School 🙌). Now that I have my families’ WhatsApp numbers, the Contrerases have taught me that staying in touch can be a quick, short message every once in a while to let your family know you’re thinking of them!

Friends

Soaking in the hot tub during my 3rd Annual Climbing Birthday Trip at Red River Gorge, we were chatting about what staying in touch looks like post-graduation. A comment from Bita inspired me: my recent trip to the Bay showed me what staying in touch with Ann Arbor friends can look like!

I just returned from visiting many amazing friends in the Bay. We now live far away and don’t share day-to-day moments. We’ve all celebrated life milestones, grieved losses, and continued to build our lives in exciting ways. I hadn’t spoken to many of my friends in many months or years yet we are still the same people and reconnecting felt easeful. It only took 5 minutes until it felt like we were finishing each others’ sentences again, chatting as if no time had passed! For me, staying in touch with friends means I can reach out when I am in town and leave with a full heart.

As I am about to leave Ann Arbor, this gives me hope for the future! I will not see most of my Erb friends often, but we are deep friends who share values, hobbies, a desire to live with purpose, and a love of a good time. Thanks to Carlotta, she has inspired me to ask my friends at Erb - “What does staying in touch look like for us?” It will be OK that we may be more distant, but, to all my Erb friends: Know that in 5 to 10 to 20 years, I’ll be there for you. When we are in the same place, hit me up and 2028 Jess, 2033 Jess, and 2043 Jess will LOVE to reconnect!

As I mentioned in my last newsletter, the theme of March (and the first half of April) has indeed been family and friends. Next up, the rest of the month I’m celebrating graduating from the University of Michigan and the investment we’ve made in ourselves and this community the past 3 years.

Con amor,

2023 Jess